Archive for February, 2009

How Will You Stand Out?

Bryant February 26th, 2009

Do you know how you will be remembered?

When all is said and done, people will remember you for how you were different. They don’t remember you for fitting in. They remember you for the things you did that were just a little bit out there….

Did you once stay up for three days straight playing a game of Risk? Do you always answer your email within two minutes of receiving it? Did you once run a marathon!!? When you’re long gone those oddities are what people will remember when they mention your name.

Maybe it’s just how human memory works, but it’s those different events that stand out even when we look at our own lives. It’s not the normal days, but those that were special in some way that we stick with us. I remember exactly where I was during the challenger explosion (even though I was very young) and, more recently, Sept 11th.

If you look back over history, the people that are the most remembered are the ones that brought something new and unique into the world. Just think about people like Newton, Freud, Darwin, and Einstein. Nobody much cares that Einstein sailed or played the violin. What they remember was that he introduced a whole new way to think about space and time.

With 5 billion people in the world, you need to be different to stand out. So often we are taught that the way to success is to blend in. Maybe it’s finally time to embrace your differences rather than trying to hide them?

There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on the plot of ground which is given him to till.

-Emerson

Who Have You Validated Today?

Bryant February 18th, 2009

When I was growing up, somehow I stumbled upon How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I’ve always thought that the title was a little off-putting. It almost makes the book sound like it’s geared toward used car salesman and that his techniques are slimy.

But that’s not the case at all. In fact, this excellent book is really about showing genuine human kindness to other people. One of the main points of the book is that the best way to make friends and win people’s trust is to become genuinely interested in them.

Don’t try to fake it, but instead look for one thing in another person that interests you and then start a conversation around that. Your job is to just listen and affirm that person. Everyone can do at least one thing really well. You just need to find that one thing in another person.

I was reminded of how important it is to affirm others after seeing a great youtube video about validation mentioned by Michael Hyatt on his blog. It’s a sixteen minute clip and just shows how much validating someone can make their day. It’s hard not to smile after watching it.

The One Thing That Everyone Needs

Bryant February 7th, 2009

Do you know the one thing that everyone needs? Of course everyone needs food, water and shelter, but I’m talking about what people need after we get the basics covered.

Do you know what it is?

There are lots of things that people want. Some people lust after fast cars or fast women. Personally, I’m always lusting after the latest tech gadget, but as we all learn at some point those things aren’t what we need.

What everyone needs is a purpose to life. It’s no wonder that The Purpose Driven Life, and the book it’s based on (ie - The Bible), are some of the best selling books of all time.

These books help find and give purpose to life. They help to show that you are more than just random particles of dust and water that happened to flow together in just the right way. And that after your life is over, it’s not the end of you.

In Victor Frankl’s groundbreaking book titled Man’s Search for Meaning, he chronicles living in a Nazi concentration camp and describes how those who had no reason to live often did not, yet those who had discovered a purpose that was yet to be fulfilled seemed to endure and somehow survive against all odds:

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”

So how do you find that all-important purpose?

I’ve heard of many different ways to find your purpose in life and I’ll highlight some of the better ones here:

  • Study: One useful area of study is myers-briggs type tests which give you a four-letter abbreviation of what drives you (for example, I’m an ISTJ). Some great books to study are: What color is your parachute (a classic job-search book), and the aforementioned Purpose Driven Life, and Man’s Search for Meaning.
  • Experiences: Trying many different things, while somewhat haphazard, can be a common way that people figure out what they’re meant to do. Sometimes you get hints by looking at your hobbies or jobs that interest you. Sometimes you just need to  try a lot of things until something clicks.
  • Prayer: Often just taking some quiet time to journal or pray about what you’re meant to do can lead to a revelation.  For example, Steve Pavlina (a popular self-help blogger) has a process to find your purpose in 20 minutes by journaling.

For me, it has always been pretty clear. Ever since I was young, I’ve have had a strong desire to solve practical problems and do things as efficiently as possible. I’m sure this is what ultimately led to me programming on my first computer at 9 years old and later becoming an IT consultant to help solve problems for businesses and make them more efficient.

That purpose also helps to explain why I write this blog to share ideas on problems I’ve overcome and how people can become more efficient in their daily lives. Everyday excellence is what it’s all about!

What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.

-Victor Frankl