Everyday Excellence

Bryant March 28th, 2009

Ever since I can remember, my mom and step-dad had been talking about building their lighthouse. They both love the water and have a beautiful piece of land on Lake Springfield. Part of their land juts out into the lake and they told everyone that would be the perfect spot for the lighthouse.

Their dream was to build a lighthouse, not for nautical reasons but for pure enjoyment. They wanted a place to watch sunsets, enjoy great conversations with their friends, and to beautify the lake they loved.

But after so many years of just talking about it, it got to the point that it was becoming a joke. When people saw them they always had to ask with a wry smile, how’s that lighthouse coming???

In many ways, I think we all have a lighthouse. It’s that big, bold and impractical dream. The one that we say “someday” we’ll get around to.

Someday when we have enough time; Someday when we have enough money; Someday when we don’t have so many other responsibilities…

But the truth is that you can always find reasons not to do something. There will always be barriers and walls — real and imaginary. And there will always be doubters and cynics. Sometimes we even doubt ourselves.

Honestly, I never thought I’d see my mom and step-dad’s lighthouse. They were such frugal and practical people. I couldn’t imagine them spending the amount of money needed for a custom-built lighthouse especially during a recession. Not to mention, all the time required to retain and supervise the building contractors. They had a retirement to enjoy after all.

But this story, like the all best ones, has a happy ending.  I was wrong.

A few weeks ago I received an email from them. It included a link to a frontpage newspaper article with the below picture. You guessed it…they had built the lighthouse of their dreams:

Photo by T.J. Salsman/The State Journal-Register

Maybe you’re the type of person that needs a little more proof though?

So next time you’re driving on I-55 from Chicago to St Louis, when you get to the bridge over lake Springfield, look to your left and you will see their lighthouse standing proudly.

Not a beacon for ships, but a beacon for everyone to ponder: What’s stopping me from building my lighthouse?

Seize this very minute; what you can do, or dream you can, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Tags: lighthouse

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Bryant March 21st, 2009

Last week, for the first time in my 32 years of life, I broke a bone in my body.

I was inside reading on a nice spring day (as usual), and the kids asked me to go play soccer with them outside. At first I told them I was too busy, but after much begging I finally relented. Besides isn’t a good father supposed to play soccer with his kids on a warm, spring day?

So I hopped outside with them. For some odd reason, I decided to play barefoot. Perhaps it was the nice weather or perhaps I couldn’t quickly find my shoes. Whatever the reason, it would prove my downfall…

Halfway into the game, I went to kick the ball as it was rolling next to the fence. And while I kicked the ball, my little toe got hooked on the fence and I heard a loud *CRACK*.

It was immediately obvious that I’d broken my pinky toe. So I went inside and did what any self-respecting geek would do. I google’d “broken pinky toe” only to find that there was no real point in going to the doctor if it wasn’t severely broken. And the standard fix is to tape your pinky toe to the next toe (ie - the buddy toe) and to ice it.

Now, at first, I was thoroughly disappointed with the reality of having a broken toe. That meant no running or playing tennis just when the weather was beginning to get nice!

But as I thought through it some more, I wondered if the fact that I had never broken a bone meant that I wasn’t really living? Maybe I wasn’t pushing myself as much or as hard as I could? Maybe I was taking things a little too easy?

In one of the Teddy Roosevelt books I read, it talked about how he was always breaking bones and giving himself scratches and concussions from falling off horses and hunting bears. Now, there’s a man that really lived and has the scars to prove it!

I could have just said no to the kids on that warm spring day and stayed inside to read my book, and maybe I could’ve made it through life without ever breaking a bone. But maybe, just maybe, the safest way isn’t always the best way?

A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.

John A Shedd

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Bryant March 13th, 2009

What do you look like online? Are you beautiful? Brilliant? Unknown?

And why does it matter?

Because first impressions no longer happen in person. Before I meet someone new, I typically “google” them and I don’t think I’m alone.

More and more businesses are “googling” people before hiring them. Technology companies assume that if they see no presence of someone online then they are not looking at a candidate that is really passionate about technology.

Other companies or individuals only want to hire those who have a discrete online presence. It wouldn’t exactly make you feel comfortable if your new nanny was blogging about her depression and drinking binges.

It’s important to know what google is saying about you and to take control of it. With everything that you do online, you are slowly but surely leaving a trail and building your online brand.

You have decide which part of yourself you want to project to the world. There is also the risk that one part of you will collide with another online. In the offline world, it’s much easier to share only one side of yourself with a group, but online if you say something for one group, another is just as likely to pick it up.

What will my work friends think if they see on my facebook that I’m teaching sun school. Will they think I’m a conservative wacko? What will my church friends think if they read my blog questioning prayer?

So while it’s nice to think that the web can be this liberating place where you can say and do what you want, always remember that you’re being watched, and google never forgets.

Use this knowledge for the positive and build an online brand that will WOW people. If you want to be known as an expert on technology, write detailed blog posts about the latest and greatest tech gadgets. Then when people google you, they will have no doubt where your passions lie.

Just don’t take it too far and create a “fake” version of yourself. I like to call this the “online dating effect” where all the guys are 5 inches taller and all the women weigh 30 pounds less. At some point this fake version will catch up with reality. You should be genuine, but put yourself in the best light. Because if you don’t cultivate an online brand, you will get one by default.

A brand is a living entity - and it is enriched or undermined cumulatively over time, the product of a thousand small gestures

Michael Eisner, Former CEO Disney

Tags: online brand

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Bryant March 5th, 2009

After recently getting a dog, I started to look into the various books on training and dog obedience to further educate myself. It’s hard to look at what’s out there without running into…one man…who, when dog’s go bad is their best friend….he “rehabilitates dogs and trains people”….he is…Cesar Millan…THE DOG WHISPERER!

He has many books and can be seen regularly on the National Geographic channel taking on problematic dogs and showing their owners how to correct them. The show is a bit formulaic and repetitive, but overall it’s entertaining and educational. It reminds me of Supernanny, but for dogs.

Some people don’t like him because his tactics can sometimes seem harsh and every now and then, he even employs the *dreaded* Alpha Roll. Personally, I think he’s great and agree with his key principles of training: Exercise, Discipline and Affection (in that order).

Let me explain each:

• Exercise: According to Cesar, this is the most important. Dogs need exercise to burn off pent-up energy and satisfy a migration instinct. It also serves to show you are leader by how you control the walk.
• Discipline: Dogs need to know who is the leader in every family (or pack). They are happy and comfortable being at the bottom of the chain as long as they know the roles. If they do not see a clear leader they will try to become it.
• Affection: Dogs generally get enough affection. Usually they get too much and it causes them to question who the leader is. The affection just needs to be balanced with exercise and discipline.

We have had great success applying these principles and techniques to our dog. In fact, I think these principles could be applied equally well to people to keep them happy and balanced.

For example, I notice that I’m generally much happier when I’m able to get regular exercise and burn off steam than on days when I don’t get a lot of exercise. The same is true for the kids. Every now and then they need to be forced (for their own good) to get off the Wii and run around the backyard to burn off energy.

As for discipline, this has to do with rules and boundaries. One of the lessons from the Supernanny-type shows and many child-rearing books is that kids need rules and boundaries. Kids without any boundaries walk all over their parents and are generally a menace to their families. As people age, they need a different kind of boundaries that I would call worldview. They need to know what’s important to them, what they believe and what principles will guide their lives.

Lastly, affection is a given. Babies need it from birth and throughout our lives we long for affection in order to be happy.

Maybe that’s why dogs are man’s best friend. While there are obvious differences, they share many of the same core needs as people and it’s in those similarities that we can relate to them.

“We have to use exercise, discipline and affection every day. Most of the time people share affection, affection, affection, and that creates frustration. In a powerful breed, that’s going to lead him into aggression. So exercise and discipline play a big role in balance.”
-Cesar Millan

Tags: dog whisperer

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